is how i feel now that he is drunk (well i can't know that for sure, but he's been drinking for hours and is at pub so it seems a sound assumption)....
so his texting has moved into suggestive/flirtatious, and i can't say i'm overly comfortable with that...i'm doing my best job of ignoring/deflecting, but i think i should (well, let's not go with should as Sal, wouldn't be happy with that) say something....
this is the same man who only a few weeks ago told me he only wanted something casual, i've made it very clear i am not going to do that with him (a) because i don't want to and (b) because we work together....
so that leaves me in unfamiliar territory - well familiar in that i have some fear about establishing a boundary (fear that he will run away...seems unlikely frankly, but this is all too familiar to me) and unfamiliar in that i find myself not inclined to get into that sort of a conversation and not feeling that 'compulsion' to respond...
reality is, me responding and letting him see that side of me on his terms, is actually not going to make me feel good and i doubt very much if it will mean he likes me more (which is an old belief)....
in fact, i am certain that maintaining some distance, some intrigue in these situations is a good thing for me to do....
yep, and funnily enough, changing this particular pattern doesn't seem so hard....sure i'd like nothing more than to flirt with relative abandon with him, but it just doesn't seem like a good idea...
so, we'll see!
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