lonely this afternoon - or is it something else? I'm wondering actually if a lot of my mood of late is work related? I mean, it's not like I want to be there anymore, not like I have a boss who's supportive....nope she lies to cover herself, is basically a bully in disguise, undermines her direct reports constantly (this doesn't just happen to me) and is something of a nightmare to work for...
so next month marks my 4 year anniversary of working for her, 9 months as a consultant, then 3 years plus as an employee, and I've had enough...
so I was feeling good after a couple of very positive meetings during the week, then I find out that there is some sensitivity and I'm possibly off limits to the search firm I've been building a relationship with for months - because, and wait for this, we are using them for our CFO search - seriously? I've been building a relationship with them for way longer than we as a company have been working with them - and the consultant didn't bother to tell me this might be an issue - guess she's just like the others and only interested in the $275k fee!
are none of them decent human beings?
so, I'm a bit flat - i'll be ok, of course i'll be ok, but I'm feeling a bit trapped, a bit stuck and a bit lost - as evidenced by Saturday morning's dreams...lost wallet, then found it but when I went into bank to cancel credit cards, couldn't get anyones attention (feeling unheard perhaps?), and then I find myself in a shopping centre, not able to find the exit to the car-park (this is at least the 3rd time I've had this dream)...
I love how dreams are such a reflection of what's going on for us....the mind really is an amazing thing...
ok, well now need to focus on doing some non blog writing!
nite x
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