craptastic....

yep, that's how I would describe the last coupla days

so let's see - I'm still sick and tonight seem to have developed either a bad case of hay-fever (hardly likely, is middle of winter) or a bad head cold, had very bad headache (borderline migraine) yesterday, I really don't like my boss anymore and am finding it less than motivating, which means getting out of bed and dragging myself there ain't much fun, she lies, I've mentioned that before right? yep, today she did it in a Board meeting to cover her arse and dump me in it - please! she's seriously contemplating giving the 2nd most important job in the company to someone who have wait for it 9 years of job experience - fucking seriously! and then there's the fact that on Sunday night, after over 2 years of uncertainty, I cut off personal ties with FC...

so you could say that in all, it's been a craptastic week which is perhaps why I feel so flat...:-(

thank goodness I had writing class tonight which has provided something of a spark, so that a glimmer of my former self (coupled with my sense of humour) has managed to emerge...

I don't know how I'm going to get through the time between now and when I resign - and of course that's dependent on a number of things...not the least of which is finding a new job, or getting to Sept 2015 and having enough $ stashed away that I would be willing to take a risk and leave without a job to go to (not my preferred option)...

one other positive is the E3 visa - so if I get a job offer in NYC, it's almost a certainty that I'd get a visa - spoke to an immigration lawyer today :-)

so for now, I've got to keep my head down, get to my holiday, then it's only 3 months and 5 days to bonus payday, and by then, perhaps a new opportunity will have emerged...

I don't like feeling trapped, which is how I'm starting to feel, so maybe need to do a bit of reframing...

talking to Leah a bit more after a nice dinner Sat night - not 100% sure how I feel about that and conscious of not just slipping back into it because I've moved away from Nick...

so, on that note, tea and book for me

ciao peeps x