life is good...

it really is...seems the last few months (which have thrown up plenty of challenges) have allowed me to develop some resilience of my own, some inner strength and to really identify what makes me happy...

and I am! for the first time in a long time I feel happy, freed of a lot of the crap from my past, worries that really weren't worth my time...yep, I feel good

I think gratitude is a big part of that...I've started trying to really feel grateful for what I have

funny, I was at my bff's the other night, her and her hubby are not having a good time and he opened up to me for the first time in well over a year...he told me he didn't think he'd be nearly 50 and in the situation he is in now, and I said to him, with compassion and empathy, 'I get that xx, and I didn't think I'd be 45, single and have no kids, but we have to make the best of what we have'....and as I said it I felt wise and comfortable...

it's ok to grieve what we don't have, as long as it doesn't define us...it's ok to acknowledge the things in life we may previously have wanted, even though they have eluded us, but mostly, it's essential to try and see the good in where you are right now...otherwise all you're doing is running away from it or trying to move towards something else...

funny really, as all of my rather dysfunctional relationships have involved me moving towards the other person and away from Sarah...

so, really, when you accept life (warts and all) for what it is, and don't beat yourself, or others up, for what you don't have, or what they didn't do for you or give to you, all you are doing is moving away from yourself...

so, tonight as I type this I feel good, I feel wise, I feel comfortable in my skin, I feel happy and content with life...

oh, and I have a date to look forward to sometime soon....:-)

with a man! a man who isn't obsessed with work, who's quite open and articulate, and who's creative...looking forward to meeting him in the flesh!

ps at some point i'll write about what's been happening in one of my friendships, as in many ways, the change in it has been the catalyst for me to do some work, but right now, I don't want to be dragged down into that stuff...