no sooern had i finished my post on saturday night than a text from him apologising comes in...sorry, he says, no signal at stadium, bf's girlfriend rushed to hospital and he's tired so would like a relaxed evening in local suburb (am i to read that being with me isn't relaxing?) and doesn't feel like talking...
i respond with hope deb's ok, nite to which he instantly assumes he must have woken me up, rather than thinking that actually i don't want to talk to him....
but i can't let the opportunity go by so i go back and tell him that i wasn't asleep but that i'd just gotten in...a conversation about the weather, football and a variety of other things ensues, including him asking me 'what you been up to?'...really, does he care? and sure i know i shouldn't say that, but there are times when he behaves so badly toward me, it is bloody difficult to comprehend that he actually might....
sat night work stuff (frankly he was nothing short of rude and petulant), later that night when he stupidly mentioned he hadn't eaten and then told me 'i don't think i'll come over tomorrow night....' knowing full well how i would react to such a blunt text...even today at work, a bit off.....
yep, not sure why i ever found this man attractive and sure if anything were to occur in the future i would cringe at the thought that he might stumble across the blog, but then it is my journal, at a point in time, and honestly, he is rude at times...
sure there was plenty of stuff i liked, i even (stupidly probably) went so far as to tell him that i was crazy about him....of course my friday night email has not even been met with a response and i suspect now there will be none...of course if i followed it up there would be, but i'm not going to...
i'm done! done telling him how i felt about him, done listening to him tell me he's not ready and work's an issue - why the fuck he saw fit to get involved with me i have no idea, since the work issue was never just going to disappear? nope i am done....
so even though one of his saturday night texts was saying we could catch up another time if i liked, i surprised myself by not even responding to this....wonder if he noticed?
anyway, no more catching up and talking about stuff which is not going to change, no more texting outside of work (i'm going to do my utmost to not respond to these if there are any, and i'm certainly not going to initiate)....
yep, i'm done!
wish me luck peeps....really gotta get this man out of my head coz even when i did have 'le crush' on him, even then, he wasn't deserving of everything i have to offer...
no sirree!
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