so many

things i want to say to FC, and so i have started to write him a letter...

maybe i'll send it, maybe i won't but it will help me get my thoughts straight...one of the things i have realised (in fact, i realised on monday after our sunday night catch up) was that, when i am with him, i forget that there is a world outside of us....

and this was not a planned realisation, nor is it any romantic notion that i'm holding onto, but merely just me realising how much i like him when we are together...problem has never been when we are together, but when we aren't....his absence at times, his non response to contact, his dropping out of conversations - yep, they are things i just cannot deal with, and sure i could make excuses, but i do not like it!

good to know that i can see there are things i don't like rather than have an overly romanticised view with my rose coloured glasses on...

nope, fair dose of reality here, and that is good!

one step at a time....

ok, this time it really is good night!