so many things....

i want to say to FC

to Chris, although I have not yet found the inspiration to write the things I asked him to read before we meet up on Tuesday....no doubt there is some meaning in that? perhaps it's just not that important to me? now that I've worked through a big part of the impact he had on me with FC, maybe there's not that much to say?

hmmm not entirely sure

what I do know is that there are HEAPS of things I still want to say to FC but of course I've told him we need time and space so for now at least, it seems he has stopped texting me....and whilst I miss contact with him I also know that the quickest way for me to heal is to not have to constantly be bombarded with texts from him....of course I did just text him a quote that someone sent to me, as it seemed so much more appropriate for him....the old me would beat myself up for making contact with him, but it is what it is and just because we aren't together, doesn't mean I no longer like him, think about him or care about him......

and maybe there are still a lot of things I need to say to myself, in the form of reminders....yes, things such as a penchant I have for romanticising situations, the tendency I have to overlook things that later end up being critical, the desire perhaps to be with someone so much that I can't see them objectively and consequently overlook things that are actually important to me or ignore things that I don't really like.....

hmmm yes, so perhaps person I need to talk to most is my self, go figure!!