i wonder if hating

him would make things easier? i doubt it but I so desperately want to feel better that I'm considering alternatives..... it's times like these when it hurts so much and there is no apparent end in sight to the sadness that I begin to question if the universe really has my best interest in mind.... I don't know what to do with my anger towards him, with the disappointment I feel and with the cloak of sadness that seemingly won't leave me.....nope, no ideas right now :-(