friends?

so after friday's awful text session, we still agree to catch up today (even though he repeatedly points out to me that it's not a date!)....so we can talk about what happened, get some closure and find a way to getting back to a good relationship at work...

so i was beside myself nervous, ended up being late and you know what? i actually had the nicest, and most comfortable time with him since day 1....we talked about heaps (eventually), we listened to music, watched tv, he made us dinner and it was nice...

bottom line is this - i doubted he liked me and that is just silly - he likes me
he doesn't want to be in a relationship and i am grateful now that rather than string me along he was honest with me
he said it would be a little different if we didn't work together
still he says 'timing's a bitch'...

so we actually said nice things to each other tonight, without all the pressure, in a moment of utter drunkenness (and i really need to NOT hang onto this) he said 'we could run away to new york together, that would be fun'...which of course would be...

he walked me to my car, checked out my busted lights, and kissed me good night (on the mouth...hmmm i'm certain this is NOT how friends say goodnight?)

yep, i was an idiot to think he didn't like me, but reality is, in his head, timing is all wrong for him and the work thing is an issue

soooo perhaps a new chapter in my 'journey', one of being friends, being in the moment and not having any expectations....and maybe, just maybe it's my lesson: to be friends with him before i decide he is worthy of being anything more

well today was a good start....

nite x